Guidespeak

Bulldogging	It is what we do on the Upper Columbia – Wrestle big sleds on big water to wrangle with big resident bows.
POW	When a substantial task has been completed or a worthy achievement has transpired, we like to say POW!
Steelhead Smooth	That walking speed water that steelhead live in!
They are lower then you think!	Steelhead can be anywhere. However, in any given piece of water, they are usually lower in the run then you think.
The First Five	If you survive the first five seconds of a steelhead hook-up there is high likelihood of landing that fish. It is the first 5 seconds ‘when all hell breaks loose’ that is the crucial factor.
Cripple and Kill	The trout behavior of mauling and debilatating the bug/fly and then circling back around to eat it!
TGR	Or in other words a ‘Typical Guide Rig’ – Commonly appointed with…. chew cups, gob o bugs (see below), power bars, empty cans of copenhagen, ‘our team sponsor’, rods on hood racks, drift boat in tow, empty red bull cans
North American Caucasian Fish	The politically correct name for a Rocky Mountain Whitefish.
River Cash	This is the political name for TP, Toilet Paper or aka __ __ __ Wipe.
Bobber Tending	One of the ‘things’ a guide needs to do when aiding the anglers drift while floating down the river in search of the fish.
Team Dip	This term has nothing to do with jumping into the water. It refers to the rally factor, a get’r done pre-requisite and it involves one of our team sponsors…Copenhagen. In essence, when a group of anglers are waterside and the chips are down, or the ain’t eating Drakes, it is ‘Team Dip time’ (Copenhagen that is) for the inspiration factor. Term spawned by Joel Mclain – July 09′ on The Jurassic.
Guide Babble	Often occurs when 4 or more guides become confined to a small space, and consists of 7 or more separate conversations between 3 or 4 guides, all on-going at the same time. Topics jump all over the map and volume in said space (Jeep Cherokee) tends to escalate as guides get excited.
Fish Slapped	This one is certainly not politically correct… So in context, ‘Dude, that fish just kicked your ass, he flat out violated your game. You just got Fish Slapped!’
An A.D.D. Quest	This term requires a definition before the definition …. Plain and simple, no doubt about it, guides are universally a breed apart. Trying to organize a group of guides is like corralling a herd of stallions…I would equate it to A.D.D. Gone Wild. ‘ADD Gone Wild’ is involuntary. In other words ‘It is what it is” An ‘A.D.D. Quest’ is another term that is very similar, and although we have diagnosed it as involuntary there seems to be an underlying theme in which the guide subliminally seeks out random tasks and thoughts.
Keep it under the bobber	A term we use if it is important to keep something quiet…For Example; What’s the best fly of the week?; What stretch of river is fishing the best?;; Who stole the beer?, yada, yada, yada! So in context- John said ‘Jason took the beer’ Derek replied ‘hey man, keep that under the bobber, eh!’
The DNA of Fly Fishing	I first heard this term from Ian @ Yellow Dog. The ensuing definition is an elaboration of the original… The DNA of Fly Fishing are the interpersonal and business connections we make while on the journey in pursuit of fish with the fly. In combination with that, the DNA also consists of the desire to learn new ‘trichniques’ and enjoy our office ‘waterside’ in which we are so graciously blessed with. Make no mistake about it, we are in the business of providing an experience for the guest. It is remarkable how many of these guests become friends and how we all continue to marvel at the ‘creation factor’ of the places we are so fortunate to spend our time!
LOFT	Lack of fricken talent – ‘That guy had a bad case of LOFT’
PLLDS	Post lunch let down syndrome; Similar to the Food Coma
Fish Porn	No Skin, Just Scales
Phone-Bake	Dropping a phone in the water is a monthly occurrence for most fly fishing guides. Standard procedure is to take the battery and chip out of the phone, wrap the phone in a towel followed by approximately a two hour ‘phone bake’ in the oven on warm. Usually this does the trick! Often times the guide in a tired and ‘guidelike’ fashion will accidentally put the phone in the microwave instead of the oven – We refer to this clearly as a ‘phone fry’
Chuck and Squint	This term was coined by Erik Jensen in his second year up on the Columbia river with us and refers to the end of the day where the fly is ‘CHUCKED’ out there and the body is lower to a ‘lessor elevation’ as you are looking into the fading glare of the night and ‘SQUINTING’ to see the bugs for just one last take!
That’s a good fly but lets use this one	Basically this means I dont know who sold you those flies but they are not on the menu…..
To Bead or not to Bead	John Kritsonis coined this term and it refers to the age old, or let me rephrase that, ‘the new age’ question concerning the use of ‘Beads’ (which replicate eggs) under a bobbercator to fool chrome; steelhead that is. Therefore, ‘To bead or not to bead’ is a highly moral question in the modern fly fishing world.
Client Babble	Karl Lindor coined this term and it refers to the nonstop often times pointless and senseless banter between guests in a boat. It is possible the babble is a form of a defense mechanism to combat fish nazi guides.
Nymph Rip	The sound of the line ripping from the water when the angler sees the bobbercator go down.
Bobbercation	This term refers to the fabrication of a bobber! When making an indi-bob out of yarn often times we utilize a comb to ‘fluff’ up the bobber- hence ‘bobbercation’
Bobbercator	A Bobbercator aka… Indi-Bob(Indicator/Bobber hybrid) Float(Old school name) Indicator Strike Indicator Bobber Strike Detector ASID (Acute Strike Indicator Detector) Is used to detect strikes while drifting a fly suspended below the bobbercator in a static free fashion. This technique is the complete opposite of fishing a fly under tension or commonly referred to as the ‘swing’
Castingitis	An affliction that many anglers get after they realize how efficient a *good loop* is for their cast. One of the suggested cures for this condition consists of repeating the following sentences … “There are no fish in the air” and “The fish live in the water”
Cuppie	A Cuppie is a Cutthtoat of extra ordinary proportions; One that it is so fat/wide (Crappie like) that we have given the cutthroat that fits this description a new hybrid name Cutthroat -Crappie = Cuppie
Gob o Bugs	This phrase pertains to a pile/bunch/mess or aka ‘gob of flies’ found near and belonging to a guide. Sometimes they might be found in cup holders of their boat, pockets of their windsheer coats, loose and tumbling in a dryer, on the dash of their rig or anywhere else appropriate for the gob!
Guide Supper	Guide food can be an eclectic mix. Often times a guide’s dinner will consist of unwanted morsels of lunch from that days guiding. While certainly not bon appetite, it is already paid for!
RBI	This baseball lingo works great on the water. Instead of ‘Run Batted In’ it is ‘Rain Bow In’
Spey Therapy	The insight gathered from a day of fishing the two hander with maybe a grab, maybe not.
All-dayer	This term describes a fish that is in the 10-13″ class. A fish that you can catch all day long, and love every minute of it;All the while wishing for a bigger one. Term originated waterside by Tony Bynum and Jack….1990
Tracker	The technical name for a fish that follows and inspects your fly for up to 6 feet from his/her lair and in the end passes up your offering. There are times when the fish might even nudge the fly with its nose.
Levatator	Similar to the tracker except that this generally refers to a fish that rises vertically (almost helicoptor like) to inspect your fly and then fades away after refusing.
Steelhead Jazz	A condition which refers to an anglers state of mind while in pursuit of steelhead. It is similar to and a combination of Steelhead Rummy, ADD Gone Wild, Hydrotherapy and just plain STEELHEAD JAZZ
Miracle Mile	This term of endearment refers to some of the ‘best of the best’ on any particular river. In fact, some rivers may have a few particular zones that anglers/guides may refer to as the ‘Miracle Mile’
LDR	LDR is the acronym for a “Long Distance Release” and is very similar to a “Long Distance Relationship” in that there is undoubtedly a bit of hands on contact but never enough!
Waterside	The ‘75% of the time’ office
Hydrotherapy	The relaxation and insight gathered while waterside. term spawned by Jay Virnoche
Downriggin	This term pertains to deep nymphing where the angler typically utilizes two nymphs, split shot and a large bobber/indicator.
Guide Cancer	An onset condition or affliction that plagues second or third year guides who just can’t seem to get over themselves. Generally remission is eminent after they are humbled by a first year guide.
Guidevision	This term refers to the uncanny and trained eye guides display. ie; did you see that fish rise over there? nice buck! check your fly (it is messed up) wow, do you see the rubber hatch coming down stream at us?
ADD gone wild	Plain and simple, no doubt about it, guides are universally a breed apart. Trying to organize a group of guides is like corralling a herd of stallions…I would equate it to ADD gone wild.
Guide Time	Guide Time…. is a term that refers to the schedule of which a guide keeps. This schedule could vary in degree. For instance, some guides might show up 30 minutes late with the smell of ciggs and beer on their breath, get you into fish all day, and pull off the river at “O-Dark Thirty” and we would refer to this scenario as Guide Time. Another example of Guide Time might be when the guide shows up at “Butt Crack Early” and has all his ducks in a row in an anal fashion, or at least he thinks he does, and then only to realize as he pulls into the launch that he forgot his sticks (oars.) This would also be a Guide Time scenario. So in essence there are no real parameters for Guide Time. Guide Time “Is What It Is” and is very closely related to Guide Like.
Montana Time aka Waterside	refers to a state of mind…..somewhat related to Montana Café and to quote my good friend Rooster… “Your thoughts focus solely on the situation at hand – you are now on Montana Time. A place where a watch doesn’t do you much good. A place where you can leave all of your troubles behind, and simply enjoy the fact that you are a part of this great place, even if for just a short time – that’s Montana Time. Sounds good doesn’t it? That is why we do what we do.”
Sticks	Synonymously referring to the rods (not poles) we use to cast the fly in search of our mighty quarry and also referring to the oars used to navigate a drift boat or raft.
GuideLike	Referring to the disposition, looks, attitude, style, lingo, flavor, smell and overall general appearance and approach to the day, life and/or task at hand.
Food Coma	This condition refers to the sluggish, non- committal and overall lethargic attitude that anglers portray generally mid-day after eating a large lunch. This condition can be heightened if the lunch is grilled. Symptoms include open loop pile casts, no hook-ups due to blurred vision (especially when a beer is combined with a grilled lunch), reeling the line in backwards while the reel is facing up and combative behavior with their fishing partner and sometimes even the guide. Remedies include another beer, time out or a 30 minute catnap.
Hard-hats and Streamers	Showing up with a hard-hat on when it is evident that streamers will be on the agenda most the day
Downstream	Cast the dry fly DOWNSTREAM
Mend	A manipulation of your line
Lift and Drop	The preferred style of mend
Wigfest	When the guide staff wears wigs waterside at the request of the Calafrazier clan.
Brace yourself	Use the leg locks as the boat is going to jockey about
Team Jergens	Willoman is the 2005 Captain of Team Jergens which is a team of guide extraordinaires. However, in all fairness, credit needs to be given where credit is due… Charter members of Team Jergens… Carsten Killmer – “el presidente” Wick VD ——- The biggest jergens, figuratively and specifically Joe Rotter—– For making it all possible-the actual *egoinspirator! Brazda——– doo dah Jergens Keith W——– for thinking that we are Jergens Me, Myself and I –Truly a Jergens, The Dark Swede Jack Mitchell —- You Jergens! Long Live the team!!*
Frikennuken	AKA It’s Kinda Windy
Guide Food	Little Smokies, Tim’s Cascade Alder Barbecue Chips, Chewy Chips Ahoys, Copenhagen….our official sponsor
Guide Vitamins	Nicotine, caffeine and ibuprofen
There!	Set the hook, a fish is eating your fly
Noooiiiiccceee	A commonly used term when the guide likes something. i.e.: your cast,the presentation, a fish, girls floating by in their bikinis. Basically this term of endearment can refer to many things – like a great cast, catch, hookset, funny joke, falling out of the boat, Small fish, Big fish, a hottie floating down the river in a Bi-Mart raft or hottie floating down the river in a Clackacraft drift boat.
Fatty	A noooiiiccccceee healthy trout.
Bucket	A term commonly used by steelheaders describing the place where a swimmer lives.
Suds line	A term pertaining to river foam lines caused by impurities (not beer) in the water, where trout like to sip, crash, eat and devour bugs.
Foam is home	Same as above
Trust your guide	Trust your guide
That dog will hunt	In a nut shell, the bug(fly) of choice is on the trout’s menu
Presentation	Refers to “things” we need to do to catch fish
Training camp	Where guides learn
B_ _ _ Crack early	Real early in the AM
O-Dark thirty	The opposite of B_ _ _ Crack early
Beerthirty	It’s Miller time
Big Dog	A Big fish or Keith Wersland
Dink	Small fish
UH Huh	That works, leave the fly there, nice cast, great mend
Let it ride	Don’t move the fly, let it fish
Tandem Rig	Utilizing a two fly system, whether it is a dry and a nymph, double dry or two nymphs
Dinkin	Fishing with a Bobber; or as fly fisherman like to call them- Strike Indicators
Swingin’	The preferred method of fishing the fly, besides dry fly fishing.
Big and Ugly	A term used to synonymously describe some of Big dries and Streamers we use to catch fish
Huckin’ Meat	A phrase used to describe the act of fishing Big and ugly streamers
Twitchin’	A term used to describe movin’ the fly in a controlled fashion
a FUBAR	A term that typically pertains to a leader and fly entaglement. The quintessential Fubar is when two nymph rods collide and the disaster there after.
“Here let me take a look at that.”	In a nutshell, this politically correct statement means. “give me that beautiful FUBAR so that I can fix it for you!”
“Check your fly”	In other words..there is most likely something wrong with your terminal tackle!
Slide	A dump off, drop-off in the river
Guide fish	A particularly tough fish that needs the guides touch
Holy Waters	This term was coined by Keith Wersland and Jack Mitchell in 1995…..noooiiiiccceeee! It pertains to some of the” best of the best.”
Whacked em’	This phrase pertains to an absolute “Catch/release Fest” Born in 1995 by Keith/Jack
Marathon Float or Power Float	A term used to describe a long float/fish for the day… typically in the 20 mile range
Death March	This is an extra ordinary power/marathon float
Nymphomaniac	Someone who nymphs all the time, even when the fish are rising everywhere…..i.e. Carsten Kilmer
Rubber Hatch AKA ‘BOOBS AND TUBES’	This term pertains to the hypalon and rubber hatch that occurs on hot summer days. Latin name – Hypalon Extravaganza Common name – Rubber Hatch Order – Human Typical size of the hatch ranges from 100’s to 1000’s and is heat driven. Prime air temp for this particular hatch- 95 degrees F Listed below are some other unique factors of this seasonal hatch: The amount of bare skin and aluminum cans present Typically the river is the opposite of “Quiet” The Fauna is generally nowhere to be seen Parking can be difficult
Steelhead Rummy	Referring to the disposition of a guide and or anglers mindset after days on end in search of the mighty steelhead. Some of the symptoms include an unshaven face, (and if you’re a women we won’t go there), very bad breath, a dazed and confused look, a dialogue consisting of very few words, i.e….”eat my fly.”
Mendenitis	A term referring to the affliction of constantly manipulating your line voluntarily or involuntarily causing your fly to waggle about unnecessarily.
ASID	(Acute Strike Indicator Detector) This is a technical term for a float/bobber used on the leader while fly fishing.
The Corner above the Corner	My favorite riffle in the river…..located in the Upper Flatlands.
There goes that Stone run	This run was named during the 1992 Skwala hatch while Keith and Jack whacked em’ on adult Skwala
Double whammy	This run was named during the 1992 Skwala hatch while Keith and Jack whacked em’ on adult Skwala
The Diamond Chop	An Upper Yakima Proper riffle that gives up big fish on little dries.
Torpedo run	Named during a Green Drake hatch in the Holy Waters
The G-spot	A particularly awesome convergence/drop-off/slide hole in the Farmlands and it = BIG Fish
Bank of the year	This particular run in the Lower Canyon was voted bank of the year, 3 years in a row! A decent testimony to the “thumbs up factor”
Orgasmo	This hole in the Lower Canyon was named by former senior guide Dave Pease and former top guide Carsten Kilmer.
Lizard Hole	Where big trout eat Lizards! Upper Flatlands
Miracle Mile	A commonly used name for a particular stretch/mile of river that is “en fuego”
Devils Corner	One of the windiest spots in the Lower Canyon. Named by Bo in 1989
The S curves	The tree farm stretch in the Irene to Ringer stretch of the Yakima
The Ditch	The Lower Canyon on the Yakima
Frustration Flats	A long flat of the Yakima river at mile marker 17 named when filming a Rand Mcnally Video with The Evening Hatch, Charlie Meck and the late great Dave Engerbretson in 1992.
Chukar Run	The train track side of the river (Yakima) starting at mile marker 22.5 and ending at mm 21. This stretch of river was named at the same time Frustration Flats was.
The Beaver Tail	A particular section of the Yakima river between mile marker 21 and 19. An aerial view of this stretch shows the land mass on the West side to look like a Beaver tail….Named by Tony Bynum of The Evening Hatch in 1990.
Rock Garden	A particular bank on the Yakima river, between mile marker 19 and 18 where the fish love to eat dry flies.

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North Washington guide service

Guidespeak

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